I can not resist this. The following is an e-mail from a very dear friend. Read it quickly because if she sees this, I may have to pull it. I don't think I've had this good of a laugh in a long time. I merely asked for book reviews for the library's site.
Disclaimer: Names have been changed to protect the innocent...her husband is the only innocent I found in this whole thing. ;o) Any censoring was done by my very dear friend.
Yeah..........and a very happy new year to you also, Mrs. Sherry !!!
I have been on crutches ever since last year and I have read so many books that I have continuous headaches.
I liked some of the books, some I did not; some made me cry, others did not. I always finish what I start even if it's ' waaaaay wrong'. Never did like book reports. Hey, I didn't even like school, but in order to live I HAD to attend AND remain on the honor roll.........or else.
I received a bag of books from one of my church members. She joined a Christian book club and has about lost what bit of 'religion' she has because the books are coming so frequently. She swears that they are coming out of the wazoo. (whatever that is) Does the library have any of the books I have read? Probably not. So, so much for my review, eh? But just for your own info, I read 'em because they were: (1) free (2) large enough print not to stress me out (3) I was unable to leave the house to get what I wanted (4) -husband- still has a nasty cold so I had mercy on him and did not send him to get the 'who done it' type I like (5) I was too 'sorry' to even get on the computer to read and answer mail (6) I ran out of wine (7) I had to stay off my feet and elevate (8) TV was not an option ( 9) needed to unwind after the kids/grands left (10) had already finished my scrapbook of family members
(11) fully clothed, I fell down, barely missed falling into the bath tub. (12) stayed pissed with -husband- for a good 24 hours because he did not hear nor feel me when I hit the floor. At - oops...better leave weight out of this - plus, I KNOW #### well that I had to have shaken
not only the pictures on the walls but the foundation of the house. Did he come to my ####### rescue? #### NO !!!
I said a prayer of thanks, finally got up and totally forgot about the 'religous books' that I was reading. (13) the orgami frogs that I taught myself to make never did hop like the instrucrions stated (14) could not play the keyboard, while my foot was elevated (15) tried the guitar again...it sounded lousy, as usual, my fault of course. (16) And.........I DID NOT CALL YOU TO SCHEDULE A CROCHET CLASS. So I read what I had. Got religion now though.
God is good. I made it to 2009 ANNNND I got more wine. I don't take many pain pills anymore. I can finally place my foot on the floor but still cannot put pressure on it. That's a start. I will take it "one day at a time'. I have had enough 'pity parties' to last for the rest of the year. When I did finally get out of the house, I had to crawl back in
(refer to # 12) because I was afraid of going up the steps on crutches. Won't even discuss pain in my back. Been spending quite a bit of time on it. :o) Get your mind out of the 'gutter'. I am referring to the elevation of my foot.
So now you are up to date. I hope that I will be able to attend the meeting. I miss all of you.
Much love to ya,
(much loved friend's name)